I love the word "badass", especially in relation to women! It conjures up images of strong, independent, take-no-prisoners gals. Between you and me, I so badly want to be Milla Jovovich in the Resident Evil movies! But considering both my strong love of a good meal and my overall general clumsiness, that's probably not going to happen. I suppose the constant zombie menace would get old anyway....
But even without having to fight zombies, we can still be badass chicks! Step number one is to make the decision - right here, right now - that you are going to love yourself just as you are. That doesn't mean you quit setting goals, quit striving to improve yourself, quit learning new things. It's just a reminder that life is a journey, not a destination. Value yourself, embrace your uniqueness, respect yourself. Be okay with who you are!
Take care of yourself; think about YOU. This doesn't mean you have to have a "screw you" attitude toward everyone else! But as women we often spread ourselves pretty damn thin trying to take care of everyone and everything, and we wind up leaving nothing for ourselves. Giving away every part of ourselves is NOT helping us to become better people. Just like the flight attendants tell you to put on your own oxygen mask before helping others, you need to carve out some time, love, and attention for yourself. When you treat yourself with love and respect yourself, you are demonstrating to others how they are expected to treat you too.
Find something you love, and do it! It can be your career, or it can be a hobby. No matter what you're doing for a living, there are going to be aspects that sometimes suck or that you don't enjoy as much. That's true for all of us. But life is way too short to be doing something you hate. Seek out mentors and guides, and make the effort to mentor others as well. Develop your passions! Work hard, and play hard. Be excited about giving it your all! If you aren't feeling excited, you aren't feeling passionate, you aren't feeling that exhilarating sense of purpose...consider if this isn't perhaps the universe telling you to find something different to do. You may not be in a position when you can switch careers, but that doesn't mean you can't develop something you love on the side!
Set boundaries and stick to them. Learn to say "no". Be firm and be assertive. When we're living our badass lives to the fullest, we don't have time for drama and bullshit. We don't have time for superfluous nonsense. We decide what we are comfortable with, we state our needs openly and respectfully, we don't take advantage of others but neither do we let them take advantage of us. If someone disrespects you or tries to take advantage of you, address it firmly right then and there. You don't have to be rude, but you need to be firm. When I was teaching women assertiveness skills, I always warned them that as they were practicing their new skills, someone would inevitably say something along the lines of "You aren't as nice as you used to be." The people who will say something like that to you are the people who have benefited in the past from taking advantage of you. Your real friends want you to be treated well!
Find yourself losing friends as you're getting in touch with your authentic, badass self? That's a tough obstacle to deal with, but losing people who didn't respect you and only wanted you for what you could do for THEM is a genuine positive in the long run. Badass women support other badass women! Embrace the sisterhood that is out there! One place you can start connecting with other women who are going to love and support the real you is the Polka Dot Powerhouse. Go to www.polkadotpowerhouse.com and check them out, or feel free to reach out to me directly for more info.
Give life your all, and don't accept mediocrity! If something is worth doing, it is worth doing well. Accept criticism from others, as long as it is constructive criticism. Be honest about your feelings. Embrace each day, and look for something to be grateful for. Know your worth. Ask for what you want. When you have fears, acknowledge them and then push through; be willing to step outside of your comfort zone.
I would love to hear from you about what makes YOU an awesome badass! Share your stories, love yourself, and encourage others. Stay safe, stay strong, and stay badass!